I Love You.

August 06, 2014 10:32 PM

            I miss Lisa and the kids so much. As I watch my Loki grow, I can’t help but think back to my Thor and our first trip to see them. He had gotten so big from the time she had seen him and the time she came back. He is already nearly as big as Thor was when we went down the first time. Most days I am barely find the strength to get out of bed. I don’t talk about my feelings for her and the kids to anyone really anymore because I know nobody really want to hear the same old story. I still dream of them all the time, that and dying. Some times when I wake in the middle of the night with a panic attack and my heart is screaming in such pain I want to drive a knife s deep into it to make it stop just so I don’t have to wonder anymore. I can’t bring myself to even wipe her message from my bathroom mirror.  Nevertheless, each day at least for a short while I decide I will live just a little bit longer. Just a little, that maybe I will hear from the love of my life, from my best friend, from the kids. I look at y Loki and I think how lucky Thor and I were or at least Thor as, he died knowing that they really loved him. Last night I scared my boy, I woke up screaming. I need them so much, I miss them so much. I love them with all that is in me. Each night i still tell her I love her and tell them all good night. Please lord bring her back to me.