Hate

July 25, 2014 12:02 PM

            My life is one suck ass day after another. I had a phone call earlier this week by my cousin Joe.  I was gone and he left a voice mail wanting me to call him back. Naturally I didn't, had no interest in hearing from him let alone calling him back about anything. But his calling forced me to contact my sister to do the right thing as the older brother and let her know that he was calling again. having not had any contact with her in a year I was not happy about that. It was her choice and she had to live with her choice. But I texted her, didn't get any response as expected. He called again the next day, left a message again saying he wanted my sisters cell number. I didn't call him back either but once again texted her to let her know he was looking for her. The exchange was , cool to say the least. Gad I hate him in the worst way. I don't even acknowledge that he even exists unless I'm forced to in a situation like that. I don't even think about him unless something forces me to.  so hate him more than anything , there is only one person on this earth I hate more than him. I love a woman that, well I love her more than life itself and I hurt so very much  I hurt every moment of every single day. I don't now how to stop the pain, I don't know how to live with this bleeding would through my middle and I don't know how to stop missing her and the kids. The depression gets worse every day and I just don't have the strength anymore.